Laying in Bed

8:09 PM 4/13/2009 51/2 weeks





well its been 1 week since the ulrasound that found the little sac in my utreous. I was so happy to see that little blob on the screen. Without an aaccurate due date and unclear duration of pregnancy I cannot worry about what I am feeling and if I am ok.
The past week has brought some ususal symptoms that I seemed to have forgotten, terrible bloating and gas. Constipation, Sore boobs, cramping and stretching of uterous, shortness of breath Extreme tiredness, and mental exhaustion.

I JUST WANT TO LAY IN THE BED AND WATCH TV! I am so tired and not motivated. I just want to be left alone.
This isn't possible if I want to be a good mother to the 2 children that i am responsible for.This is the ultimate sacrifice. I don't know what I was expecting to be pregnant. Rosy cheeks a cute little belly and glowing smiling face! its like I haven't pregnant before?? The only difference is that I have never been pregnant with a 3 year old, a 4 1/2 year old who depend on me to not allow this pregnancy to negatively change their lives.

Am I selfish in wanting another baby to change our lives? Should I not tempt fate and stick to the already great life that God has given me? I think that God has given me the longing for another baby and if he didn't want me to have one. He wouldn't have given me one. That's that. enough worrying.


My next appt is 18 days away which by my calculations will be 8 weeks exactly. I will be going to see Dr Roushe in the South Tampa office who is experienced and I remember liking her when she did rounds in the hospital. What a relief it will be to see a healthy developing baby with a strong heartbeat and accurate due date. No more guessing and worrying. There has been so much fear in this pregnancy Satan is trying to steal my joy in this pregnancy. I am learning so many lessons in faith, praying, seeking God's will and providence. Experience is really bringing clarity. I am happy to be learning so many lessons about the faithfulness of God.
I found out I was pregnant March 23 which is exactly 3 weeks today. It seems like 3 years since the positive test. Most people wouldn't even know they were pregnant at this time. Early detection equals more worry. I feel like I should be ending this pregnancy not in the beginning with 33 weeks to go. WOW shock that its so far away and impatient at all the changes still yet to come.