The Beginning of the End

Well I started bleeding this morning after rushing around and going crazy trying to clean the house and get ready for my trip to Orlando. I was horrified, surprised and then cried. I wiped and then there was blood. No pain just blood. I layed down to wait for Mike to get home from church. When he got home I told him what happened and he called the doctor.The nurse told him it was normal sounding situation and to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound. I layed down for the rest of day and rested but I still bled everytime I went to the bathroom and wiped. I finally got concerned enough to call the nurse back.It had been 6 hours and still no change, I was also very constipated and had terrible gas pains and my belly was very distended. She was again unconcerned and told me that the bleeding was from straining with the constipation. She then told me to go and buy some suppositories but beware the pains and cramps that they would bring on would be bad. The pains were so horrid I had to pray out loud for God to take the pain away. After pooping I felt a little better but still bleeding when I walked around. Its now almost 9pm and nothing has changed since this morning. I am preparing for loss at this point, this much blood cant be normal. I am trusting in God and still feel in the end this will be the what he planned or me. I am just anxious to find out the good or bad . Only God know what tomorrow will bring... I am learning that if your fear is unfolding before your eyes, Closing your eyes and hiding wont keep it from coming true. My prayer is that God can help to see his hand as he carries me and not to doubt his faithfulness in all situations even those which don't go the way I had planned, and for the grace to trust that he knew my life beginning to end before I was created.This too shall pass... I just want it to hurry up and be gone... and that I will be stronger and more faithful when its done